When we experience distressing emotions, we unconsciously fall back on our habitual vocabulary. The words we attach to our experience become our experience. Words have a biochemical effect on the body. I first became aware of the power of labeling emotions during an intense negotiation, more than a decade and a half ago. I shared information with the other party, thinking it would help my business partners and me cut through the positioning and show good faith.
How I Transformed My Life by Controlling My Mind
Unfortunately, the other party leveraged that information in an attempt to close the deal in an unjust way. To say it was upsetting at the time would be an understatement. After the meeting, I was frustrated and angry , but the intensity of one of my partners baffled me.
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The intensity of his emotions struck me because it seemed over-the-top compared to my frustration. On the other hand, our other partner seemed completely unmoved by the experience. I was struck by how each of us used words with such varied levels of intensity, and also how our experiences of the event were so radically different.
How could it be that I was frustrated, one of my partners was enraged, and my other partner was a bit peeved? I would never use this word to describe how I was feeling, but then again, I had never been that calm in an unjust situation. Maybe he was on to something. Is it possible that the words we attach to our experience actually become our experience? Do words have a biochemical effect? For the next few weeks after that meeting, I began to notice the different language patterns of others and how they magnified or softened their emotions.
Can a change in words lead to a change in state? It was time to test this theory. I created a day challenge for myself.
1. Change your thoughts by creating positive affirmations
First, I would have to identify my emotional habits. Then, I would consciously replace these with a new word to break my default pattern of thought and feeling. I got my first opportunity after a long series of connecting flights, all of which were late. I arrived at my hotel at 2 a. I waited another 10 minutes at the front desk while the clerk slowly searched for my name in the computer. The frustration compounded until it turned to anger. Just saying that word changed the tone of my voice and made the whole situation seem silly. The clerk looked at me in confusion before breaking into a big smile.
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I smiled back; my pattern was broken. As ridiculous and simple as it sounds, the replacement word broke my pattern of anger. The emotional volcano building inside of me instantly cooled. Could it really be this easy? Just by changing the words we habitually use to describe our emotions, could we change our feelings and the quality of our lives? Ten days turned into a month and I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was a life-transforming experience.
We can be proactive in choosing our emotions—we can make experiences more pleasurable. This is how you create a choice instead of a habitual reaction. Transformational Vocabulary gives you the power to change your experiences in life by lowering the intensity of negative emotions to the point where they no longer control you.
It can also be used to take positive experiences and increase them to even greater heights of pleasure.
Change your life with the power of thought
How extraordinary will your life be when you consistently lower the intensity of negative emotions and intensify the positive ones? Start small. The thoughts that pass through your mind are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Your predominant thoughts influence your behavior and attitude and control your actions and reactions.
As your thoughts are, so is your life. Thoughts are like a video that plays on the screen of your mind.
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What you play there, determines the kind of life you live and the experiences you meet. To make changes in your life, you have to play a different video, one that you like more. You can train and strengthen this power. You can use it to make changes in your life, and also to influence other people's minds. If you plant seeds, water them, and give them fertilizers, they will grow into healthy and strong plants. Thoughts, like seeds, have a natural tendency to grow and manifest in your life, if you feed them with attention, interest and enthusiasm.
Your thoughts pass from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind, which in turn, influences your actions in accordance with these thoughts. Your thoughts also pass to other minds, and consequently, people who are in a position to help you, might offer you their help, sometimes, without even knowing why. This might some strange and unbelievable. You don't have to accept these words, but if you analyze the kind of thoughts you think, and the kind of life you live, you will discover interesting things about the mind.
The power of your mind is part of the creative power of the Universe, which means that your thoughts work together with it. You are a manifestation of the Universal mind.
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When you repeat the same thought over and again, in one way or another, this mighty power helps you make your thoughts come true. Actions, situations, and objects that you visualize frequently, eventually, manifest on the material plane in a natural way. This manifestation does not happen overnight. It needs time, and depends on how ambitious and sincere you are, and how much time and attention you put into this action. You can use this process to change negative habits and build new, positive habits or skills.