Three Pretty Widows by Barbara Else -
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About Barbara Else. Barbara Else. Barbara Else is a playwright and fiction writer, and has also worked as a literary agent, editor and fiction consultant.
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Books by Barbara Else. Trivia About Three Pretty Widows. Connecting with other young widows was the turning point. She wrote Stuart letters, went back to university and penned a book about dealing with grief. Twelve years later, she now knows how to turn grief into gratitude. My husband recognises that my past with Stu made me who I am today. There was nothing out of the ordinary when Jo Langford left her husband David at home while she collected their three children from school.
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When they arrived home an hour later, David was dead. Jo administered CPR until the paramedics arrived, but she knew it was too late. I didn't sleep for more than two hours a night and ate nothing for weeks after, losing more than 20 kilograms in that first month. Having young children helped her navigate through the initial shock. I think if I didn't have them I would have done nothing," she says.
Channelling her grief into something positive enabled Jo to move on with her life, and spending time with others who had experienced similar grief helped. I didn't know what that was going to look like but I knew I had to make something good come out of something so tragic.
She met up with a group of other young women and men from the Young Widows and Widowers support group in Brisbane, and drew so much strength from her first meeting that she knew she would be able to survive. She describes her life now as chaotic but full of joy. At the time I thought I could never find a gift in something so tragic, but now I see many.
Jo, now 49, says it's important that widows grieve at their own pace. Maria Carr was 12 weeks pregnant when her husband Dan died suddenly at the aged of Dan was driving to work when he suffered a seizure. He was put into an induced coma.
Tests showed that he had a blocked artery in his neck, which had caused a stroke. Two days later, he was pronounced clinically brain dead. I was booked in for my week baby scan, which showed that the baby was OK. After about six weeks, exhaustion took hold. I would control my grief, allow myself to feel the emotions but not allow myself to go into a dark place. This baby was all I had left of Dan.
In the early days I would put on a brave mask, keeping my grief and emotions to myself and releasing them when I was alone. After about 12 months, Maria decided she needed to put more effort into self-care, both for herself and her son.
She joined the support group, Ever After Widowed, run by Aisling Pont, who had lost her husband Nick at about the same time. He was also The pair forged a strong friendship and launched a website for the support group everafterwidowed. It has a forum where people can post relevant topics, discuss their feelings and exchange information in a safe, confidential environment. They've also written a book, Forever Loved.
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We will never 'get over' our husbands' deaths but we have learnt to accept and live with our loss. Our husbands' lives ended far too soon, so the best tribute we can make them is to live full and happy lives for us and our children. Under 50 and widowed: How these five women are getting through their grief.